Naive.

I trusted in you. I gave you my heart. I love you wholeheartedly. I did my ways to save you from being hurt. Do I deserve all these hurt given back then? Why? Do you have to do this to me? What do you gain from seeing me so hurt? Do you gain happiness? Hey, I thought you were different. I thought you were special. Like I said, I rejected other guys for you. Is it worth it or not? In the end, what I got what betrayal and backstabs. I just couldn't believe myself. My institutions were always right. It was never once wrong. I kept having stupid thinkings, you told me I was just being too sensitive. I believed. I was wrong! So wrong to have believed! Why! Why do you have to do this to me? Why? Please, I want to know the reason.

You kept it so well hidden, I didn't even know it till yesterday when she talked to me. When she asked me to add her on msn. I did, yes. I wanted it to show that I was wrong with my thinkings, but. It proved me right.. You liked her. Or maybe you still do. You even went to the extent to ask her to be your girlfriend.. And even though you got rejected, you tried again? And in the end, she asked you to be her ganstead on 170110. whatever~

Hey, she's more important aye? You should've told me! Why do you have to hurt me like that? I'm so stupid to have believed everything. 8months, well. nothing much to you eh? But, it meant ALOT to me okay? I treasured us alot. And, you.. sigh...

People said, you're not good. I should leave you. You don't deserve my love. Why didn't I listen to them? why? I don't even know either. Maybe, I trusted you instead of them? I thought I knew everything about you? I love you? wow, people must be saying that I was stupid right...? sigh. Are all guys like that? Why? You made me believe in so many things, and now I've fallen. Who's there to pick me up? 

Suddenly, I treasure my mum alot. All that she did was to save me from hurt.. Why do I have to rebel her this way? Why must I hurt her? No, from today, I'm gonna change. Thanks Kel, you made me realise a thing again. That my mum was never wrong. And, she loves me alot.

Kelvin, I know, you'll read this but its just I dont know when. I want you to know.
It's not that I don't trust you. I did okay? Ask Zhiqing. Was I very wrong to had been tx towards you? In return, what do I get? Ask. Did you stay with me for kisses and hugs only? Where does your heart belong to? Me or another place? I asked you to take good care of my heart when I passed it to you on 231009;0351 and eventually, on 17th June, I heard some unsightly things and my heart got pierced by a thousand knives and my heart starts bleeding non-stop.. 

Are your 'iloveyou's true? do you really care for me? maybe you did, for a short period of time maybe you did love me till you met her. Everything changed. right? Well, looking back. I looked like an idiot.

you know I love you, but why?