170th post~

It hurts. >: I miss you love.. where did you go?

Well, mum's coming back today. I'm dead meat. ya whatever~ sigh.

OH YEAH? I had a haircut. CUT SHORT. ._. First peektures shows. Mum made me cut. Nevermind.

Everyone deserves a second chance, like you do bitch. Why don't I just have the chance? Oh my fuck my fucking life!! Should I leave home?
I've lost my only hope to stay on happily with my family. My hope was my dad. Now? No more. I've to accept it, yes I have to.. Daddy, I'm sorry for hurting you and Mummy. :/

I'm going to change.

So different, till you won't understand me no more.

There's always a reason behind everything I do, all I can say.

I know, you won't trust me anymore. But, all I can do/say now is.

I'm really sorry.

FUCK MY LIFE OKAY FUCK. FUCKING MAID AND SISTER. ANYHOW BOMB TIME. I HATE MY LIFE I HATE IT.

Don't bother. FUCK.

Heh, well. Morning smiles. 2 more days of freedom? yeah, :( last night slept early~ 1am jiu off le. Hahaha. Yesterday I've got a solo mega from Andy brother! Heh heh! meluvz! show you, wait.

Hahaha, ogeyyy. (Y)

Hello! I'm back! Hehehe. Well, people whom I met are: Joash, Shawn, ZhiAn, David, Kelly and Dewi! Hah. I reached there at 5. ._. Waited so long~ Hah. :P Kelly left very fast~ :( Then the rest of us went Tekong. After that wanted to go Admiral, but go my house take thing first. Lol. Dewi went home. Then the boys went my house. Take thing already, lepak at my block void deck. LOL. Funny~ :P Hahaha. okay la, had quite some fun la. LOL.

And now, what should I do? LOL. Meboredz. :(

okay, shall poof. bye. Meluvz.

yaw. :P yesterday was an average day~ had a boring day at Audi. >.> so, I decided to listen to Jayysonnn and dl Maple. :) then I was lagging at audi while download. Hahaha. then decided to install.

And yeah, gave my tiantian and mimi away. :( to Jayysonnn. So go pass to him. Lazybum. -.- then blah. Okay then back home~ install Maple. 10mins only leh! LOLLL. ;shy then like that lor? ;x Played Maple with Jayysonnn. till around 3.50++am? yeah, then I went to sleep 'cause I'm tired. >.>

Lol, then now? Preparing to go 888 for gathering~ Long time no see friends. Hehehe. okay! Update about it when I'm back! Meluvz!

Heh, 8 more rounds ya. ^_< Love babe ttm ttc la, heh.

Can say that my eyes are halved now, ohmygee. half asleep~ yes indeed. yawns.

Hehe, 13 more rounds to go! Meluvz!
Obviously, i'm treating my blog like my twitter for just right now, kekeke.

I'm bored, it's like, im posting for fun.

Babe is tagging me now, oh my. I'm tired. 24 more rounds to go. Gambatte babe and me! And, thanks so much babe for tagging me. I love you much. Meluvz!

Hi, I only have this peekture to post up. Solo mega for babe using my nubz account, hee. Hmm, I can't sleep. I miss him, I need him, :/ Lol, haiya.

I'm boredz! Grrr, yes, not many people know my blog now, hehehe! :P okay, blog later again or so! bye! Meluvz.

Naive.

I trusted in you. I gave you my heart. I love you wholeheartedly. I did my ways to save you from being hurt. Do I deserve all these hurt given back then? Why? Do you have to do this to me? What do you gain from seeing me so hurt? Do you gain happiness? Hey, I thought you were different. I thought you were special. Like I said, I rejected other guys for you. Is it worth it or not? In the end, what I got what betrayal and backstabs. I just couldn't believe myself. My institutions were always right. It was never once wrong. I kept having stupid thinkings, you told me I was just being too sensitive. I believed. I was wrong! So wrong to have believed! Why! Why do you have to do this to me? Why? Please, I want to know the reason.

You kept it so well hidden, I didn't even know it till yesterday when she talked to me. When she asked me to add her on msn. I did, yes. I wanted it to show that I was wrong with my thinkings, but. It proved me right.. You liked her. Or maybe you still do. You even went to the extent to ask her to be your girlfriend.. And even though you got rejected, you tried again? And in the end, she asked you to be her ganstead on 170110. whatever~

Hey, she's more important aye? You should've told me! Why do you have to hurt me like that? I'm so stupid to have believed everything. 8months, well. nothing much to you eh? But, it meant ALOT to me okay? I treasured us alot. And, you.. sigh...

People said, you're not good. I should leave you. You don't deserve my love. Why didn't I listen to them? why? I don't even know either. Maybe, I trusted you instead of them? I thought I knew everything about you? I love you? wow, people must be saying that I was stupid right...? sigh. Are all guys like that? Why? You made me believe in so many things, and now I've fallen. Who's there to pick me up? 

Suddenly, I treasure my mum alot. All that she did was to save me from hurt.. Why do I have to rebel her this way? Why must I hurt her? No, from today, I'm gonna change. Thanks Kel, you made me realise a thing again. That my mum was never wrong. And, she loves me alot.

Kelvin, I know, you'll read this but its just I dont know when. I want you to know.
It's not that I don't trust you. I did okay? Ask Zhiqing. Was I very wrong to had been tx towards you? In return, what do I get? Ask. Did you stay with me for kisses and hugs only? Where does your heart belong to? Me or another place? I asked you to take good care of my heart when I passed it to you on 231009;0351 and eventually, on 17th June, I heard some unsightly things and my heart got pierced by a thousand knives and my heart starts bleeding non-stop.. 

Are your 'iloveyou's true? do you really care for me? maybe you did, for a short period of time maybe you did love me till you met her. Everything changed. right? Well, looking back. I looked like an idiot.

you know I love you, but why?

I dont feel sense of security at all.

Hey, dead blog ya? Hahaha. Kind of doing a short update now. Went to uncle's house yesterday. BLAH. BACK TODAY. GO BACK UNCLE HOUSE ON WEDS. K BYE!